The logic is sound.
The internet loves arguing about whether pineapple is an appropriate pizza topping. Now we have concrete, unassailable, logical proof that not only is pineapple on pizza good, but it’s also cool. All thanks to Chloe Kim.
— Evan Doherty (@YSportsEvan) February 13, 2018
Typically it’s my belief that anything you enjoy is fine, and your enjoyment of something is not impacted by what others like — but this is an exception. Pineapple pizza by virtue of Chloe Kim’s endorsement is immediately set as an excellent choice. Sorry haters, it’s true.
If you don’t believe me then try to find fault with this logical syllogism:
Chloe Kim is cooler than you.
Chloe Kim likes pineapple on pizza.
Pineapple on pizza is cooler than you.
Don’t get me wrong, you, reading this right now, are very cool — regardless of your pizza choices. I support you and honestly love you, but there are just some things you need to accept in life. One of these is that pineapple on pizza is good. It was Plato who said:
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”
Re-written to be about pizza:
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of pineapple on pizza.”
Pizza is good. Pineapple is good. Pineapple on pizza is good and cool. Thank you, Chloe Kim.